My 2018 Complete Movie List: #110 – #101

Here are the movies that came in at #110 – #101 on my complete movie list for 2018. We’re getting through the rough patch (a.k.a. the bad movies) but, once again, there is a light at the end of the tunnel (a.k.a. the good movies).

 

110. The 15:17 to Paris

  • It seems mean to put this movie so low but it’s nothing personal guys
  • That voice-over car ride at the beginning seemed like I was about to experience some bad acting from the real life people from the real life event (the main guys portrayed themselves in this)
    • …and that is exactly what happened
  • The kid who plays young Spencer had a meltdown in the school at the beginning and he also couldn’t act
  • At catholic schools, or whatever type of school the boys went to at the beginning, is it frowned upon for sons to be raised by just their moms?
    • I’m wondering because a big deal was made about that just because the boys were doing SOME minor bad things a.k.a. acting like typical young immature boys
  • The dialogue is bad, so I can’t really tell if the acting or the script should take majority of the blame
  • Although the acting was bad, the relationships seemed real and genuine
    • Since the relationships are real it’s good that was able to show
  • It took over an hour for the event on the train to begin to take place
    • Then it ended very quickly
    • I didn’t expect so much character backstory
    • This was practically an origin story for the three heroes
  • I guess people didn’t get checked for weapons at train stations back then smh
  • Those three friends are heroes but are also kind of dumb
    • Spencer ran straight at a crazy person holding a gun
    • It looked funny watching the three of them take down the gunman fairly quickly even though Spencer got some nasty cuts
    • They tried to shoot the gunman with his own gun….seems a little wrong somehow
      • Then Andrew kept walking around with one of the guns like it was his. The look of it looked a little odd
    • I surely wouldn’t have been brave enough to do what they did
  • If the conversations the friends had about whether or not they should go to Paris actually happened, that would be crazy
  • Great real life story but the event wasn’t big enough for me to want to see all that back story on the heroes
  • To Sum it Up: You could have just verbally told me the story; I need a movie

109.  The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time 

  • They don’t waste anytime showing awful looking dinosaurs
  • In the beginning a big ol’ shark jumps on land and eats a dinosaur.
    • Nothing out of the normal yet
  • I needed a recap before the movie but nope! The filmmakers act like people have watched these movies over and over or just remember what’s been going on since the first one
    • It doesn’t help that they basically like to end each movie on a cliffhanger
  • Fin (Ian Ziering) jumped on a shark and steered it so meteors would fall in its mouth during one scene hahahaha
    • Still nothing out of the normal yet
  • Alaska’s cameo as Morgana was very annoying and the character was on the screen too long
  • So without hesitation, Fin pulls excalibur out of the stone and uses it to create lightning that then shocks all the sharks as if he’s Thor
    • Yep, still normal
    • And the sharks in this period breathed fire hahahaha
  • The time travel logic in this is ridiculous so the movie is staying on brand
  • According to this, sharks are the reason for the revolutionary war huh? hahahaha
  • Bryan stays in the past during one of the period jumping trips because “he’s taught history, now he wants to live it.”
    • The logic in this series has somehow gotten even lower
  • During another scene, a shark bit off Billy the Kid’s (Jonathan Bennett) arm, which was holding a gun. With the gun now in the sharks mouth, the shark started shooting the gun somehow hahaha
    • Still normal
  • When the movie gets to the year 20013, there are now robotic flying sharks smh
  • There is a ridiculous time bending finale
    • I have no clue how things were resolved
    • So does Fin not remember all the sharknado shenanigans he dealt with come the end of the movie?
  • That plot was moving at such a rapid pace
    • Moving just as fast as our heroes were moving from time period to time period
    • The plot was, again, so ridiculous that I didn’t even try to fully comprehend it
    • You don’t watch these movies for the plot details
  • Staying on brand, the effects are trash, the script is filled with terrible writing and the corniest possible one-liners for every scenario and some of the acting is pitiful
    • Hopefully it’s all done on purpose but it’s all expected
  • This series has always been bad but at least entertainingly bad
    • It’s been way past its bright years and this one was more tiresome than previous entries
    • I guess you can only laugh at wack stuff for so long
    • Thank goodness this is the last one…or so they say
  • Fin and Jason Statham should team up for the ‘The Meg 2’
  • To Sum it Up: A franchise that did what no one thought it could do, and many people wish it didn’t do, squeezed out all it could until there was no more left….and then tried some more

108. The Sisters Brothers

  • Not feeling some of the quick cuts between scenes
  • From jump this movie screamed of slow and I feared it would be
    • It would keep the feeling for the majority of the time as it dragged to the finish line
    • It dragged so much, I couldn’t follow the story really and that’s because it made me not want to. I was too tired to want to
  • No bias but this movie needed Jake Gyllenhaal to star in it and not have him blow his head off in it
  • A movie with a great cast like this shouldn’t feel this boring
  • Had some OK shootout moments but they barely helped this
    • Even how the director showed the violence that resulted from the gun shots bothered me
  • To Sum it Up: Westerns are always a hit or miss for me. This was a definite swing…STRIKE 1…swing…STRIKE 2…swing…STRIKE 3, YOU’RE OUT!

107. Nobody’s Fool

Watch my review right here!

106. Peppermint

  • The movie really didn’t show Riley (Jennifer Garner) kill the three guys that killed her family…wow
  • Was it the screen I watched it on or is this movie literally awful in quality?
    • It looked sooooo dark
  • Did it actually say it was 48 degrees at 1:50am in L.A. on a news channel during one scene?
  • One good fight scene
    • The rest were uninteresting, poorly edited action moments
  • Why did the movie go with the twist of Carmichael (John Gallagher Jr.) being a crooked cop?
    • It made it seem like he would be the friend of Riley and he was the lead of the cop characters to then turn out to be the crooked cop with no hint at that being the case. Then he dies like a throwaway character
    • I get what twists are but I didn’t like how this one was handled
  • Wanted the end to go in the dark direction it teased, not the “Riley Survives” ending we ultimately got
  • How did Riley disappear without being found for five year?
    • Why wasn’t a good reason for that given and why didn’t they show any of her training?
    • And then it’s hinted that she is going to do it again
  • To Sum it Up: This would have been entertaining if the filmmakers would have made the plot a step-by-step generic revenge thriller where we actually get to see Riley kill characters that wronged her!

105. The Kissing Booth

  • Within the first five minutes I began to feel like I wasn’t going to like the humor in this
  • Movie Quote: “If he can’t see how complete baller you are then he’s not the guy for you”
    • Baller? Yeah another reason given to me early that this probably wasn’t going to be for me
  • The popular group of girls at the school are named the OMGs…nah I don’t like it
  • The generic and forced ways the movie kept getting Elle (Joey King) to take her shirt off was getting sad and uncomfortable
  • Nobody wanted to do the kissing booth but then Elle got the OMGs (I don’t like that I have to call them that) and then magically they got a bunch of different people
  • One scene finds Elle slowly jogging home in the rain as she narrates ” as I run home…”
    • Come on bruh…
  • Noah (Jacob Elordi) has some anger management issues and Elle kept letting guys degrade and disrespect her
    • If I was some sort of feminist writer, I would be going in on that fact
  • Noah and Elle literally slept over night right under a letter on the Hollywood sign and didn’t get in trouble huh?
  • Lee (Joel Courtney) almost finds out about Noah and Elle by thinking that Noah hit her? Does that even seem routinely believable
    • Then when Lee actually finds out minutes later, that scene becomes laughable because of the rampant emotions shown and then Lee proceeds to run from them
  • Noah is so shook by the fight with his brother and Elle that he stops attending school and is on the verge of not graduating…seriously?
    • Very dramatic
  • The movie ends with Elle driving away on a motorcycle after just recently getting her regular drivers license…really?
    • At least the movie admitted, through narration, that Elle and Noah probably wouldn’t stay together because we all know that those chances are slim with him going off to college and her still being in high school
  • Contained some expected cheesy dialogue
  • I try to keep giving King a chance but her acting just doesn’t seem to ever impress me
  • Those unfunny bloopers/alternative jokes at the end weren’t needed
  • To Sum it Up: Weak attempt at teen romance and I can say that because clearly I’m an expert in the genre

104. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before

  • Lara Jean (Lana Condor) is an awful name
  • I’m kind of surprised Lara didn’t suspect her little sister of taking the letters
  • I don’t why King Bach playing a high schooler in this bothered me
  • Lara’s dad (John Corbett) wasn’t the typical movie dad who is all protective of his daughters, especially when they first start dating boys
  • You could have guessed the “fake” relationship was going to implode once the “steamy” hot tub scene happened
  • Peter’s (Noah Centineo) constant “Whoa Whoa Whoa’s” started to annoy me
    • Was he trying to secretly make it his catch phrase?
  • When Lara and Peter first start fake dating, I assumed the movie would still be focused around her still wanting Josh (Israel Broussard). But it then focused a lot on her and Peter’s growing relationship. So when they get together at the end, I wasn’t surprised
    • Whenever Josh would appear, it was just a confusing reminder that the story could shift back into the original direction I predicted for it
  • I know we get the tease at the end for the fourth guy who got a letter but the barely mentioned two guys who also received letters made it kind of pointless to have made it five guys in the first place
    • Could have just been four with the last guy being teased for the sequel
  • Thought the movie would have some laughs but either it wasn’t funny (I laughed once) or that wasn’t its intention
  • To Sum it Up: Teen romance is sometimes entertaining…this was just what it was

103. Dude

Read my review right here!

102. The Girl in the Spider’s Web 

  • In the beginning, a young Lisbeth (Beau Gadsdon) purposefully falls out a high up window into snow and runs off….FAKE!
  • Stylish James Bond-esque opening credits sequence
    • Must be typical for the movies based off books related to this franchise…even though I’ve only watched two of them
  • Why do I feel like a lot of places were set on fire in this lol?
  • This version of Lisbeth (Claire Foy) didn’t feel like she was used to her best potential based off her traits
    • She used her hacking skills often but something about how she was used outside of that felt like a letdown
    • It’s nothing that Foy did wrong
  • Director Fede Álvarez made ‘Don’t Breathe’ and the ‘Evil Dead’ remake exciting and you can tell he tried here but every attempt came off as bland
  • To Sum it Up: I prefer David Fincher’s ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ much more

101. Proud Mary

  • Where was the action in this “action” movie?
    • I had the nerve to call this the black ‘Atomic Blonde’ (or simply ‘Atomic Black’) before it came out. ‘Atomic Blonde’ is like ‘The Raid 2’ compared to this movie
  • The shooting angles didn’t line up with where the target was actually hit during the shootout scenes
    • Some iffy editing was clearly going on
    • The end shootout was a prime example of this but I give the scene credit because it was trying to be a cool one woman vs. the world shootout scene
  • The interactions between Mary (Taraji P. Henson) and Danny (Jahi Di’Allo Winston) gave us some funny moments
  • I expected a bigger emotional impact once Danny found out Mary killed his dad
  • To Sum it Up: Even though it’s cool to see Henson lead an action movie, the movie itself wasn’t “cool”

 

My 2018 Complete Movie List: #121 – #111My 2018 Complete Movie List: #100 – #91

 

(Photo Credit: Screenshot from Netflix; Peter Sobczynski – https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-last-sharknado-its-about-time-2018; Joey Paur – https://geektyrant.com/news/the-girl-in-the-spiders-web-clip-shows-claire-foy-and-lakeith-stanfield-make-a-break-for-it)

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