‘Fifty Shades Freed’ Bullet Point Review

Using bullet points, I’m going to give you my thoughts on ‘Fifty Shades Freed’; the final installment in, possibly, the worse movie series of all-time.

 

  • Christian (Jamie Dornan) had no beard one night. The next day he had a beard. Just curious in knowing if his overnight beard growing power is that strong
  • There was an out of place fast chase scene with Anna (Dakota Johnson) driving
  • The security for everyone in this were terrible. How’d they get hired?
  • Jack (Eric Johnson) was a trash villain who kept getting subdued way too easily
  • The scene that reflected on the entire series with flashbacks was out of order and not necessary for someone like me who doesn’t care to reflect on six hours of my life that were a complete visual struggle
    • It also seemed like the person, or people, who edited that scene together didn’t care much about it either
  • This isn’t the worse script of the ‘Fifty Shades’ series but it was still dull
  • The performances were also expectedly bad but I’m immune to that by now
  • The movie kept trying to scratch the surface on a specific story and actual tension but then said, “Nevermind. Let’s just show more sex scenes and this absurdly boring newlywed couple interact.”
  • Some people in my theater had the audacity, the unmitigated GALL (*Stephen A Smith voice) to applaud this garbage when it went off and I don’t know if they were joking or not
  • To Sum it Up: I know y’all don’t expect me to say this is anywhere near being good? Thank goodness this series is over

 

(Photo Credit: Universal Pictures / Everett; Universal)

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