My 2017 Complete Movie List: #80 – #71

Here are the movies that came in at #80 – #71 on my complete movie list for 2017. Expect to see a long awaited biopic, a Netflix original movie and more.

 

80. Transformers: The Last Knight

  • The constant switching back-and-forth from the IMAX cameras and the regular ones was annoying because it happened a lot within a scene and both picture qualities look noticeably different from each other
    • It kept going from “good picture to average picture to good to average picture”
  • Cogman (an advanced version of C-3PO in my opinion) was the funniest part of this not so funny movie
  • Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) is evil on Earth for one fight scene and during that scene he is snapped out of his trance by Bumblebee finally talking? You got to be kidding me
  • It’s sad how Megatron (Frank Welker) has become such a henchman-like villain lately
  • Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) has a quick cameo that comes in the form of a quick shot of a picture of him
    • Just a rude reminder that Shia isn’t apart of the series anymore even though it needs him back so badly
  • The plot is as busy and jumbled as the scenes in the movie
  • Some instances of cringe worthy lines
    • Specifically, when Optimus and Bumblebee kill the villain, they each let out a popular quote in cringe worthy fashion
  • Jerrod Carmichael was barely in the movie and that was unfortunate
  • These movies are known for destruction and in this one, they literally left part of Cybertron hanging into Earth
  • These ‘Transformers’ movies keep getting worse
    • Its’s all been there, done that and it’s getting old
    • This entry annoyingly ends just like all the other ones

To Sum it Up: The movie is steady moving forward so you can find entertainment out it but its tired routine and awful plot kills the movie

79. Okja

  • Was that an animal rape scene I saw?
  • Jake Gyllenhaal was a bright spot as the weird energetic jealous “doctor”
  • A smidge of a reminder about mans relationship with animals and the food they could become
  • The movie’s director, Bong Joon-ho, directed ‘Snowpiercer’ before this one so I expected something near the level of that greatness. I guess I expected too much
    • The level of creativity and entertainment value was nowhere near ‘Snowpiercer’
  • To Sum it Up: Disappointing

78. Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

  • Finn (Ian Ziering) is one of the greatest action stars of our era, just had to say that
  • Was an action-packed bonanza
  • Of course it was filled with a nonsensical story along with plenty ridiculous moments
    • A lot were dumb but that’s what you watch these movies for
  • To Sum it Up: This purposeful dumb movie was better than some movies that want to be good

77. Death Note

  • A demon would already be scary but a demon with Willem Dafoe’s voice would be terrifying
  • I don’t like Nat Wolff’s hair in this
  • Light (Wolff) was too open to using the book to kill someone, even after he realized what the book could do
    • And he told Mia (Margaret Qualley) about it so quickly
    • Who would let that info out so freely?
  • The twist with Mia wasn’t a twist to me. Thought we were supposed to assume it the whole time
  • Light really had time and the thought process to write out how the end would go? Nice try but I’m not riding with it
  • Hated Mia and didn’t like Light either
  • I like Lakeith Stanfield but his acting was trash here, to me
  • Movie would play better as a series
  • To Sum it Up: The concept could make for a mindless, fun, violent TV series but this movie feels so rushed and has two unlikable characters which make it hard to enjoy

76. A Bad Moms Christmas

  • There is a scene where the three leading ladies are in the mall, walking around drinking alcohol. How is that possible?
  • There was a gingerbread decorating scene where little portions of Mila Kunis’ house kept appearing and disappearing between cuts
    • Someone clearly wasn’t paying attention during the editing process
  • Amy’s (Kunis) mom was the funniest part of the movie
  • Still not too fond of the lead trio as co-headliners for a comedy
  • I laughed much less this time around compared to its predecessor
  • To Sum it Up: This was a rushed sequel, with a generic holiday premise that is less surprising and funny than the first one

75. A Dog’s Purpose

  • What a subtle depressing start it has
    • Then it condones vandalism and stealing a dog
  • The reason for the fire at Ethan’s (KJ Apa) house was so dramatic
  • The movie was so disrespectful to cats by showing the digging up of a dead cat smh
  • The endings of the dogs first two extended lives were sad and depressing. The feelings really hit because of how the movie led up to both of those moments
  • Pooch Hall looked CRAZY with that Jheri curl and Cosby sweater
  • A movie that tugged at my animal loving heart strings, but I found it pretty depressing with the addition of some odd plot elements
    • This is a PG family movie, right?
  • To Sum it Up: This movie is made for people who love or have any nice feelings for dogs. It made me want to go out and just buy a bunch of little pups

74. Beauty and the Beast

  • Belle and her father excepted the whole life sentence thing with Beast very easily like it was almost normal or something
  • The house appliances stole the show throughout
  • Emma Watson and Dan Stevens did a good job bringing their respective roles to life
  • Was aesthetically pleasing
  • To Sum it Up: Was too long for me but for actual fans of the original story, I’m sure this movie did it justice

73. All Eyez on Me

  • Whoever played nine-year-old Tupac looks nothing like adult version and his acting was awful
  • Some of the reenactments of music videos and movie scenes Tupac did came off as comical
  • Why was there a DeSean Jackson cameo?
  • Gravy came back to play Biggie I like the continuance factor of having the same actor from the Notorious B.I.G. biopic play that same role in another big hip-hop biopic but with that said, his acting was worse this time around. It was awful
  • Does a poor job making you feel the rise of Tupac’s fame and his impact.
  • Felt really weird to hear Snoop Dogg’s voice dubbed over the actor who played him, Jarret Ellis
  • The script seesaws from alright to cringe-worthy
  • The forced foreshadowing before Tupac’s death was too much and annoying
  • Jada Pinkett’s (Kat Graham) role in the movie wasn’t explained for movies sake. It’s assumed you knew they had some sort of relationship
  • Demetrius Shipp Jr.’s portrayal as Tupac was rocky at points but I would say overall, he was pretty good
    • Had Tupac’s mannerisms down but not his voice
    • In the looks department, they couldn’t have found a more spot on casting though
  • The movie was so exhausting from how it rushed through everything.
    • It played like clips or points on a timeline and not an organic story in a movie
  • To Sum it Up: I like watching biography type projects so I enjoyed that aspect but movie wise and a lot of just those aspect, it’s sad that this is the Tupac movie we get after all this waiting

72. Before I Fall

  • One of two ‘Groundhog Day’ type of movies this year…I think it was only two
  • I like the twist that the bullied girl running in front of the car filled with Samantha (Zoey Deutch) and her friends was what was killing them
  • For some reason, mean high school kids in movies lately annoy me and there’s a key scene during a party in the movie that hit a code red on that scale for me
  • I hated the ending because Samantha did all this crap just to save someone she barely knows but still dies in the end
  • I like Deutch and she did a decent job carrying the movie but, as a whole, the movie delivered a kind message with their weak version of ‘Groundhog Day’
  • To Sum it Up: This movie is specifically for teenage white girls and that ain’t me

71. Table 19

  • Lisa Kudrow and Craig Robinson are married in the movie………seriously?
    • Besides them forming the oddest couple in cinematic history, they are the most slightly entertaining people in the movie, along with Walter (Stephen Merchant)
  • Anna “Take Her or Leave Her” Kendrick has a crying scene that is a couple seconds of awful
  • This collection of characters is very odd and comes off as such
  • Too much “someone falls” humor
  • Was slightly funny
  • Has a weird interjection of somber moments
  • This is a movie that started out as an idea. That exact, immediate idea was then made into a short movie. It plays as just an outline of a movie with lots of poorly thought up twists that come and go
    • The character depth that was jammed in did actually make the movie better though
  • To Sum it Up: The plainest, simplest movie of the year

 

My 2017 Complete Movie List: #90 – #81My 2017 Complete Movie List: #70 – #61

 

(Photo Credit: Joe Lederer/Universal Pictures; Netflix; SCOTTSHAK – http://straightfromamovie.com/before-i-fall-movie-review/)

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