HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Alright, since that is over with we can move on….Since 2015 has now come and gone, I must (yes must), once again, give out the complete list of movies that I saw from the past year and rank them from worst to first. I’ve seen 119 of the movies that were released in 2015 as I write this (yeah I know, it’s like I barely saw anything) so I will post the list in pieces over the next several, SEVERAL days. Below you’ll see #119 – #110. All the movies below were discussed on the Leo B. Gyllenhaal Podcast – Donald Glover?/Pilot (Episode 1), so you can listen to that episode to get more of my thoughts on the listed movies. But without further ado, here is the start of my complete movie list for 2015 starting with #119 – #110 a.k.a. THE BOTTOM TEN MOVIES OF 2015.
119. The Lazarus Effect
This gets the award for ‘2015’s Worst Movie’. I’m going to assume that the talented Donald Glover, Olivia Wilde, and Evan Peters didn’t see a script or a story outline before that signed up for this trash. The only good thing about this movie is the fact that it was short. But that short run time didn’t leave room for them to make up for all the wack stuff that was going on. The story wasn’t really explained too well but it seemed like it was ultimately trying to be a demonic, less interesting and just all around worse version of ‘Lucy’. Things were just introduced and then weren’t developed at all so it all just seemed pointless; Especially Glover’s character having a crush on Wilde’s character. Ooops did I spoil something?
This is one of those awful movies that is entertaining because it’s awful. Since I walked into it knowing it was going to be wack, I was able to quickly realize that yes it is going to be bad like I expected and now I can just laugh at all the awfulness. Whether it’s a psycho young man acting all crazy to the mom that lives next door because she didn’t want a relationship with him after they “mistakenly” slept together or the fact that the movie went from an adult oriented love story to a thriller and then ends as a severe ‘Final Destination’ knock off. All that was just ridiculous but I wasn’t upset that I spent an hour and a half of my time watching it. There were more things in it that were ridiculous but I don’t have enough time for all that.
117. Hot Pursuit
I actually wanted to see this movie because I’m a Sofia Vergara fan. I didn’t think it would be great but I thought it would be entertaining…boy was I wrong. The duo of Vergara and Reese Witherspoon just stunk and could not get their funny flow going. I got that terrible feeling in my stomach, like I was watching ‘Tammy’ again, while watching this. It just wasn’t funny and just wasn’t good. Nothing really else to say.
116. The Vatican Tapes
This was a franticly shot, stupid “scary” movie. Mark Neveldine is really a director of some bad movies, just IMDb the guy. But anyways, I honestly don’t recall it actually saying in the movie how the lead got possessed by the devil. If it did, I was probably nodding off because it was losing me. But there isn’t really much to say besides the fact that it wasn’t scary at all, it was dumb, and I don’t know why Michael Pena was in it because he’s much better than this and he looked like he didn’t really care about the movie. The ending was SLIGHTLY interesting just because it wasn’t a happy ending so I’ll give it that.
Smh…for my thoughts on this terrible movie, listen to Leo B. Gyllenhaal Podcast – Donald Glover?/Pilot (Episode 1).
114. Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension
What a way to end a franchise I actually liked smh. Yes the series overstayed its welcome by a few movies but it hasn’t got this bad before. Way to save the worst for last. This movie clearly showed that the studio came across a unique horror film, that clearly was supposed to be a one-off, that made them a lot of money so they said, “Lets make more. But let’s also add a background story that we’ll build up over the course of however many movies we make but we’re just going to wing it. We’re not going to map out the story beforehand. Nope, we’re just going to keep adding more questions than answers to every film, give our main demon a name (Toby), bring back Katie as much as we can even though she’ll ultimately be pointless in the end result and we’re good. Oh yeah, we’ll also make a “spin-off” movie that will only be labeled a spin-off because it doesn’t consist of a majority white cast. And lastly, we’ll take what made the first film good, you know the fear of the unknown and not being able to see what you’re afraid of, and completely veer away from that with the last one. We’ll show the demon and people will love it. Especially when they see how it ends, where we’ll answer no questions and just show a house from the past movies.” Just despicable. I mean the best part of the movie was the 3D. That is just sad.
113. Fifty Shades of Grey
Wow…this is the most awkward movie I’ve ever seen. I can’t imagine watching this in a jam packed theater. I’m mature enough to watch this type of stuff but how it was executed was just…awkward. The elevator scene when Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) and Christian (Jamie Dornan) just say each other’s name is…awkward. The business meeting the two have is…awkward. Anastasia is just…awkward with that constant flustered/surprised face. Now the movie wasn’t as awful as I expected but I didn’t expect really anything good. I came to like Johnson more as an actress because she made her super awkward character slightly funny and there was a funny scene at the beginning in a bar. But really this was just a movie about a man wanting a woman to sign this contract. That was just annoying. As was the things that led to the “cliffhanger” ending. Before I move on, in regards to that ending, I have a hate/love relationship with it. It was a great spot to stop and have people wanting more. But at the same time, the exact way it ended was awful and annoying.
This one deserves an asterisk or something because I don’t necessarily think the movie was wack, it just wasn’t for me. It went on too long in my opinion (probably felt that way because of the ‘Frozen’ short in front of it). I did like that it didn’t try to come up with some weird twist to the Cinderella story but at the same time I would have liked to see something fresh. I just can’t ever be satisfied smh. Anyway, I did like some of the visuals, like when Cinderella’s dress was being “touched up a bit”. The step sisters brought some chuckles as did Gus Gus and the rest of the mice. I do have a bone to pick with these Disney movies. Just because an adult hits like their 30s, 40s or 50s, doesn’t mean they have to die from an explained sickness. I mean jeez, Cinderellas mom and dad just basically died out of nowhere. Kids might not need a description but I do.
The cool sci-fi looking visuals and gadgets (especially some cool air skating shoes that Channing Tatum’s character used. Wouldn’t mind getting my hands on some of those) along with some cool action scenes couldn’t over power the many weaknesses the movie had. The story was a little too confusing and tried to be too cool/different that it completely backfired. The acting was pretty bad as well, especially from our stars Mila Kunis (who I like), Eddie Redmayne (who I like) and Tatum, who just seemed like he was going through the motions and was kind of forgettable because I can’t remember one word of dialogue he said (but I also like him as well). I kind of feel bad for Warner Bros. having to pay the big budget for the movie because some of the action scenes in the movie seemed to add some extra unnecessariness just to make it more expensive. Don’t know why someone would do that but that’s how it looked.
110. True Story
I expected more from a movie with Jonah Hill and James Franco but this wasn’t a comedy so I should have tempered my expectations. They are both great actors in any capacity and they showed some of the skills they possess but the story just got nowhere near its potential. The movie kept making you think you were in for a nice twist as Hill’s Michael figures out the truth behind Chris’s (Franco) lies. But that didn’t happen. I didn’t know the facts behind the real life story of Michael Finkel and Christopher Longo so I went in with an open mind and fell victim to the misleading tone. I kept thinking something was about to happen that would completely switch my look of the movie and make me say, “Wow, finally this movie got good.” I did take a quick little nap during the trial scenes at the end of the movie but I don’t think I really missed much. Ultimately I feel the story just wasn’t interesting enough to be turned into a movie or the filmmakers did an insufficient job spinning it into an intriguing story. Still, the great cast put in solid performances to bring some positivity.
(Photo Credit: B. ALAN ORANGE – http://movieweb.com/paranormal-activity-ghost-dimension-trailer-2/;http://northdallasgazette.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/boy-next-door.jpg; Warner Bros/Courtesy of Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.,)