My 2013 Complete Movie List: #84 – #71

I know it’s been awhile since my last post. Thanks to school I’ve dropped the ball but I thought the day of the Oscars would be a nice day to start posting again (or at least try to). I thought I return with my complete list of all the movies I seen that came out in 2013 in order from complete hot garbage to freakin’ awesome. The list of every movie I saw in 2013 I kept in my Kindle has been leading up to this point. In total I saw 84 movies from 2013 (yeah I know I’m slipping), so my least favorite movie will be #84 leading up to may favorite a.k.a my #1 movie of the year.

I know it’s probably odd that  I waited so long after all the usually “Top Movie List” were released but my list took a lot of work and I thought saving it for a day where we are celebrating movies from the past year was a perfect time to release mine. My list will consist of 6 posts with 14 movies for each.

Now before you start saying why some popular movies aren’t on here…well maybe because, I don’t know, uh I haven’t seen them. But of course feel free to disagree and what not. Also comment and let me know what you think; what you agree with, what your don’t agree with and so and so forth.

Here are movies #84 – #71:

84. Upstream Color

This movie takes the title of my least favorite movie of 2013 because it took me so long to figure out what exactly this confusing film was about. Once I got it, what I had already seen was not worth all the confusion. I don’t mind having to think but I like to be entertained while doing so. For that reason and the style in which the film was directed, I couldn’t stand this critically acclaimed movie.

83. Only God Forgives
When a movie has Ryan Gosling in it, I’m down to watch it and most likely will enjoy myself. This movie, though, was a forgivable misstep for Gosling. The movies lack of dialogue didn’t work out well and seemed like it tried too hard to be different and “artsy”. I’m all for going against the norm but sometimes it just doesn’t pay off. It’s all good Ryan, you’re forgiven.

82. The Last Exorcism Part. 2
‘The Last Exorcism’ was a decent movie until the ridiculous end. The sequel went almost the same route. Ashley Bell kept me entertained until the end. These endings, to me, are just so bad that the ruin any positives the movie had going for it.

81. Dark Skies
This scary movie is one of those easily forgettable movies. I literally don’t remember this movie very well. I just know that it was pretty wack but not as bad as the movies lower than it on this list.

80. The Lone Ranger
I was looking forward to this movie because I enjoy watching Johnny Depp in his “out-there” characters. This movie just felt long and boring. The action pieces didn’t grab me and Armie Hammer just didn’t click with me as the title character. He was good in the great ‘Social Network’ though.

79. Movie 43
This movie was clearly made with the intent on being dumb. I was well aware of that going in. Yes it was really dumb but it had some funny segments which it the reason it’s not the worst thing I seen this year.

78. Temptation
I’m not a fan of anything Tyler Perry but I will say this movie wasn’t as bad as I expected. It still wasn’t good but I expected a travesty so in my opinion, this movie should mark that down as a positive and just move on.

77. Spring Breakers
This movie might contain James Franco’s best performance but Harmony Korine tried his hardest to edit this film in a way where Franco’s element is almost negated. I mean I felt like I was watching characters say a few words and then a set of montage scenes (and that cycle kept being repeated). Korine also took a cool idea a ruined it with just dumb story elements like setting up Selena Gomez’s character to be the star just for her to disappear completely from the movie early on and having a ridiculous epic shootout at the end

76. After Earth
Will Smith is in a serious timeout right now for actually thinking M. Night Shyamalan can make a good movie and then participating in it. They tried to mask it by making Jaden Smith the face of the film but he doesn’t know any better. His more experience and talented father gets the bulk of the blame for this.

75. The Bling Ring
I’m becoming a big Emma Watson fan so I was intrigued by this movie. She did fine in this movie as did the rest of the cast. The story just seemed a little too weak and didn’t do anything to spice up its potential. The movie would have just been better off throwing some events in there that were outrageous and clearly didn’t happen to up the entertainment value.

74. R.I.P.D.
Another Ryan Reynolds movie I was looking forward to and another let down. I actually enjoy Reynolds in a lot of his movies. I’m just still fuming over ‘The Green Lantern’. But anyways, this movie was yet another idea that just didn’t work out well. The chemistry between Reynolds and Jeff Bridges brought some laughs but the movie just seemed too much like a knockoff ‘Men in Black’.

73. The Butler
The cast brought their A game in terms of acting and that would usually force it to be higher on my list. But that isn’t the case here. I felt the film blended the events from the past lazily and very quickly. It just seemed like the wanted to see how many historical moments they could touch on. As a result it felt like I was watching a boring movie being acted out in a museum.

72. The Purge
Yet another cool idea used incorrectly. If the world gets to basically go crazy for a certain amount with no consequences, I would want to see this plot played out on the streets and not just in a house. I guess the movies produces didn’t feel the same. Whatever. The movie was somewhat entertaining but I hope the sequel listens to my idea.

71. Mama
I actually enjoyed ¾ of this movie. Jessica Chastain was good. The barbarian children were entertaining too. The ending, though, was awful. I really think these endings to movies really need to be thought-out more because what I’m seeing is just really depressing.


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